a walk’ll do you good

I received some pretty upsetting news at work today, in that 2 of my programs are on the verge of being cancelled. Not through any fault of mine, it’s all being handled at the higher ups level. My initial reaction was shock and disappointment. I’ve had a roller coaster career these last 2 years, and finally found some things that I’m good at and enjoy doing. So to hear that they are being cancelled, with one not even getting off the ground yet, is very disappointed, frustrating, and upsetting. My boss is gone for 2 weeks, and I don’t believe he knows about one of the projects status yet. A part of me thinks that everything will be ok, and another part, the one that got me upset, was that I should just start looking for a new job since I’m going nowhere anytime soon in this company right now. I stuck around the office for about an hour, checked the gym schedule, adn wondered if I should head there and get another class in (I did RPM at lunch). I didn’t have any shoes, and I was just too ticked off to do anything. So I left work, and was on the verge of tears as I drove home. There have been many a time in the past where I would be driving home and tears would stream down my face, but I know I”m stronger today, and through my faith in God, I know things will work out. So my mind is racing with ideas to try and save at least one of the programs, but I know I just need to turn to God and ask for his guidance and help during this trying time. That’s really all I can do right?

By the time I got home, with the ocean beckoning me as I drove over the hills of Carlsbad, I decided that a walk to the beach would probably do wonders for me. I leashed the dog and off we went. I listened to a podcast to get my mind off things and took in the beauty that is my town. I also took my new camera (of course) to grab some more shots!

The walk really did do me good. I cleared my mind, got the blood pumping, enjoyed the sun and the water, and knew that everything was going to be alright. I asked God to give me some guidance on how to approach things with work and I know He will. Tomorrow is another day, and I can only do so much. I can’t worry about what may or may not happen. God is looking after me.

Tomorrow, I have a dentist appt. Here’s hoping I have no cavities this time!

Watching: Oprah Behind the Scenes (love this show!)


new camera

I went a little crazy with my new camera today. Dog pics, food pics, tree pics, etc. There will be more where these are coming from. Happy End of Weekend!

new camera:


new camera!


the dog


the dog: a profile

scenes around the apartment:



parmesan focaccia & olive oil/balsamic vinegar

shrimp tempura sushi

homemade chocolate chip cookies

new shoes for spin class! guess how much they were?


new spin shoes

new spin shoes

They were only $20!!! Isn’t that ridiculous! i mean, the SPD clips I had to get to be able to wear on the spin bike cost $20. I got a deal!

The palm trees is my favorite shot! I can’t wait to get out and explore some more and take more images to share!



there’s always an upside

Yesterday afternoon I spent 2 hours of my day watching the NCAA college hockey tournament, in which my alma mater was playing. After 2 consecutive years of making it to the Frozen Four (similar to the Final Four in bball), we, the fans, all thought we had a pretty good chance of making it again. We had just won the conference tourney and were a #1 seed. We knew it wasn’t a given, and unfortunately, things don’t always work out as you hope, and the boys lost, 1-3. So, I won’t be making the trip to the Frozen Four this year in St. Paul, MN.

As bummed as I am about not going and seeing all of my favorite people partying it up, there are several upsides for me:

  • I won’t have to spend the money on tickets, hotel, and food. And I don’t have to beg the boss to let me go take care of some business while I’m there, so they could pay for my flight.
  • I get to go to my church’s Women’s Retreat. Nancy Ortberg is speaking and I’m very excited to get to connect with her and other ladies in my church. My small group just finished John Ortberg‘s book, The Life You’ve Always Wanted, so it will be interesting to hear what his wife will be speaking about. Nancy has a book out too, and I bought it today. Looking forward to reading it.
  • I get to have a fun night out with my girlfriends to celebrate a birthday!

So you see, there’s always an upside when things don’t go as planned.

Coming up: I picked up my new camera today and have been taking random pics around my apartment. Stay tuned…

Watching: NCAA Basketball UK v. UNC (and UK wins, boo!)


it doesn’t get easier, it just gets better

203.365 i believe God is a bigger man than me,

Image by ashley rose, via Flickr

Where in the heck did the day go? It is 7:30 PDT and I feel like I did nothing I thought that I would do today. The funny thing is, is that I actually did do most of the things I said I would yesterday.

  • Woke up at 7am (ok I hit the snooze and rolled out at 7:05am) and made it to BodyPump at 8am, followed by 30 min. of walking. (burned 800 calories total, wooo!).
  • I didn’t make it to BodyFlow, I just didn’t want to wait around another hour, even though I had planned to read my book, Believing God by Beth Moore.
  • Had a half  good for me lunch (chicken and couscous) ruined by some chocolate and butterscotch chips. I really should have had a salad instead.
  • Watched my alma mater play hockey (so ticked about the game, we lost 1-3. No trip to the Frozen Four for me this year.

And that’s about it for the day  I had planned. I did run to Costco to buy a camera, and wouldn’t you know it, they only had the one on display left for sale. (of the one I wanted). I got my money back, and called the other closest store to see if they had it. They were holding the last one for someone, but he didn’t show, and I can pick it up tomorrow, yeah! It’s the Nikon Coolpix S4000. It’s not the greatest, but for the price, I thought the features will work for me. I mean my old camera had 6mp and this one has 12mp, so anything was an upgrade (well, my camera is broken).

Oh I’m also making some giant chocolate chip cookies, in which I’ve managed to eat way too much of the cookie dough. Um, yes, I know it is not good because of the raw eggs. But I’ve done it for years, and I can handle the consequences :).

it doesn’t get easier, it just gets better

I said this to a woman today at the gym who told me that I’m really strong :). We had just finished BodyPump and I went to fill up my water bottle and she was behind me. I turned around when I was done, and she said it! I said thank you, and said “It doesn’t get easier, it just gets better.” I can’t say that I coined that phrase, it’s just something I’ve heard from the instructors whenever we say that this or that class just doesn’t get any easier! And they reply it just gets better, or you just get stronger, or you just have to push yourself. Pretty much, it only gets easier if you stop trying. If you don’t add weight to the bar, if you don’t up the resistance on the bike, it will get easier, but will you really be doing yourself any good? I say no. So I’m going to continue to go to BodyPump and RPM and keep challenging myself. I’ll push my body to its limits, so I can make the change I so badly want. It’s not going to get easier, I’m going to get stronger, and things will be better for me.

Tomorrow: 8am RPM, can I do it?! I think so! Then to Costco to pick up my new camera. Then church, followed by some March Madness, and finally bar games in Solana Beach with friends to cap off the weekend.

Watching: DVR’d Shedding for the Wedding (ok so I’m fast forwarding it to the challenge and the weigh-in. I don’t really like this show, but any inspiration I can find, can only help!)

tomorrow is a new day, and so is the next

rpm 002

Image by mondomuse via Flickr

I have totally stunk it up this week with my eating. I think it’s because it’s “that” time of month. But sitting here alone on a Friday night, reading through health and fitness blogs, watching college hockey, and eating terrible food, I know that tomorrow is a new day. Even though it’s Friday, and I feel like I should be out or at least stay up later than normal, I have decided that I will go to bed at my normal time. I will wake up at 7am to make it to the 8am BodyPump class. If my foot feels ok, I will do some cardio afterwards. I will take a break, read a book, have a snack, and head to the 10:45am BodyFlow class, where I can slow down and do some good for my body. I will come home, shower, have a good for me lunch, and settle in to watch some more college hockey (my alma mater plays at 1pm PDT, it’s tournament time!!!). I’ll do some cleaning, maybe some laundry, check in with friends, read more blogs, and just take care of myself. Maybe I’ll go to a movie or hit a bar for a drink with a friend. I’ll go to bed at a normal time again, and wake up to hit the Sunday 8am RPM class. This is what I get for skipping Friday’s RPM and for eating like a pig the last few days. After RPM, I’ll go to church and connect with friends and go deeper in my relationship with God. And then I’ll relax and enjoy all that life has given me. Ahhh, life is good and I am determined to make it even better.

Almost forgot, I finally did my taxes, and am getting back more than I thought. Sooooo, I’m going to buy myself a new camera this weekend, since my other one is broken. Any suggestions? I’m looking at a point and shoot, under $150, can’t decide between Nikon or Canon.

being ‘somewhat’ good

credit: JarekPredki via photobucket

I was going to title this post “self-control,” but I heard a great sermon the last 2 weeks at church on self-control, and I want to write a post about it, so I’m saving that title for another day. So instead, I’ll going to write about being somewhat good (i.e. I am exercising some self-control) regarding my diet.

I stepped on the scale this morning. Not surprising, I gained 2 lbs. I ate terribly last week: pints of ice cream, homemade chocolate chip cookie dough, oreo’s, box of chocolate chip cookies,chocolate vanilla caramels, huge bowls of cereal, and several mini snickers, reese’s, etc. I don’t know what came over me, but something was obviously going on that I “needed” this “comfort” food. I don’t know why I couldn’t convert my feelings or my boredom into something productive. I just couldn’t. I wasn’t worried about the scale, I just wanted to eat the crap. I know I need to become laser-focused on my goals and need to eat right. I’ve got the exercise pretty well down. I think I can increase the exercise, but I know I may have to eat more. I know that I have decisions to make every minute of every day, and I need to focus on my 3 words that I want to know and feel and believe this year: confidence, joy, and beauty. Eating crap does not equate to those 3 words. Gotta keep my mind in the game.

So…onto the ‘being somewhat good’ part. Yesterday, I ate pretty well, with the exception of some of the chocolate vanilla caramels and some mini candy bars (thanks to my co-worker who keeps a big ol’ jar of chocolate on her desk). Last night I came home, made some salmon and asparagus, and was really craving ice cream or cookies after dinner. Instead, I went back to reading. I have been trying to finish this book by Beth Moore so I can start my new book. Really, what better way was there to avoid eating, than to read a book called “Believing God” which is teaching me to, what else, believe God! It brought over a calmness and lessened the desire for me to eat. Plus it was about my bedtime and I knew I had to put the gym bag and my lunch together. And I wanted to watch a few TV shows. So I call this a small victory, not going to the store and not eating after dinner! (oh, and I did RPM class at lunchtime, 550 calories burned!!!)

The second ‘being somewhat good happened’ today. I went to BodyPump at lunchtime (burning 450 calories, woo!) and wanted that creaminess and delight that is frozen yogurt. Stopped by Xtreme Yogurt and got creamy caramel and vanilla froyo (ok, with chocolatey goodness toppings). Not really all that good for me, but it satisfied my craving for something cold and creamy and yummy. Came home after work,made a shrimp dish, Spanish-Style Shrimp with Garlic, and settled in. I was really in the mood to bake something after that. I have a new cookies recipe book and wanted to try something from there. I flipped through it, but nothing really stuck out for me, except for my fave, Chocolate Chip Cookies. I was about to hop in my car to get the choco chips from the store, but stopped. I remembered last night and how I fought through the cravings by reading a book. So I settled into my bed, and read another chapter. So glad that I did. And now I’m watching the Biggest Loser, and while I’d like to bake something, I’m not itching to run to the store. That trip to the store would have probably resulted in chocolate chips, some ice cream, magic shell, and probably some cookies. Ok, maybe not that much, but at least 2 of those things. But not anymore. I can feel myself changing inside and out. I’m not denying myself these things, I’m just changing my focus, and letting that craving subside. It also helps to remember how crappy I feel the next day after indulging in any of these. And I want to go to the gym tomorrow feeling fantastic!

So what have I learned in my latest adventures…

  • I don’t like to feel like crap in the morning and eating crap at night leads to this.
  • Reading is a great way to stop the my cravings for sweets.
  • God is who He says He is, God can do what He says He can do, I am who God says I am, I can do all things through Christ, and God’s word is alive and active in me! (from Believing God by Beth Moore)
  • I can make pretty good and tasty food.
  • I won’t turn into a sea creature by eating seafood 3 nights in a row!
  • Frozen yogurt is good…in moderation.

Tomorrow is Hump Day, and another day for me to be ‘somewhat good.’ Ok, I’m really going to try to ‘be good’ instead!

Watching: The Biggest Loser (so glad they brought Jay, instead of Arthur, back)

{I really need to get a new camera, my blog posts seem super long since I have no pictures to post!}

church with friends

credit: photobucket

I have been going to my current church for about a year. At first, I would go to the service, greet people at the appropriate time of the service,and then leave without saying a word to anyone else. Then the pastor talked about community,  that it really takes a community to feel and understand the power of God. Last Winter, I e-mailed with one of the small group leaders, but never got up the courage to go to a meeting. I felt community slipping away. Summer came and went, and I was determined to find a small group right for me. The same person that I had e-mailed with in the Spring, was leading an all woman’s group. Aaah, my comfort zone. So I took the leap and went to one of the pastor’s houses since his wife was co-leading the group. Wow, was I ever glad I did. There’s anywhere from 6-8 of us, each Thursday, and as we meet and talk and discuss our lives and our faith, I learn so much and I finally feel that I have my community. I joined the church last Fall as a member, and continue going to small groups through the Winter. It is so wonderful to go to church on Sundays and see people who I know, that I’ve connected with, that I can sit with and worship with and pray with. I’ve tried several churches in San Diego, and would always see a group of friends sitting together, and always wanted to reach that point where I knew some people to be able to sit with. Well, this Sunday, that was me! I was surrounded my friends, my small group, my community. It was a great feeling as we sat together, worshiped together, and prayed together. I am so thankful that God has brought these beautiful women into my life. I am so looking forward to seeing our group grow and continue to build on our community.